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Lately…
So my Mum…
This Mum of which I speak is my grandma, who’s raised me since I was 5…man I feel like the author of The Babysitters Club repeatedly explaining my backstory on here as I tend to do…admittedly if her series was being read by a tender but delicious few!
Anyway…I digress. Probably cos I don’t really want to write it: but here it is.
Mum’s cancer is back. It’s non-Hodgkins lymphoma again. Given the alternatives that were being investigated it is actually a positive outcome.
Still, it has rocked me. The past few weeks have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I’ve been seeing heaps of her though, which has been truly wonderful. I feel very lucky.
Lucky to have this time with her. Lucky that she has made it this far (she’s 89 in a few weeks and determined to make it past 90!), lucky that she has seen my wedding and met all three of my children, to the point where all of them will have memories of spending time with her. So, so lucky.
Back in 2007, deciding to move to Canada was a really tough call, given that I’ve spent most of my life worrying about her dying at any moment. It’s a hangover from experiencing grief early on. I still have to, on occasion, talk myself down from thoughts that loved ones will disappear suddenly. Then…three weeks before we were due to leave, she underwent tests for leukaemia. “Mum,” I said to her. “It’s okay, if it’s bad news, we’ll just cancel the trip and stay. It’s no big deal. Really. Canada will aways be there.” She called me a few days later: “It’s not cancer!” We all breathed sighs of relief, celebrated and off we trundled to the big beautiful red and white flag in the snow.
A few weeks later, a Skype call. Only in audio, as the computer was crap. “So they’re putting me on this new medicine for the thing.”
“What is it exactly?”
“Non, oh what is it? I wrote it down. Hold on a moment, oh non, non-Hodgkins lymphoma,” she says.
“Lymphoma?” I say. “But Mum, that’s cancer, isn’t it?”
“Well, no, not really.”
“Not really?!”
This is the Mum of which I speak. This woman.
I am astounded by her attitude. I feel so grateful to have been raised by such a strong, character-ful, positive, optimistic in defiance of life’s shittiness-at-times and truly magnificent woman.
She raised my sister (then 2, a toddler for crying out loud) and I (5) from the age of 60 (!), as a single parent AND while grieving the completely-out-of-the-blue death of her daughter.
She is something else.
She has made me who I am.
Of course, she wasn’t perfect, nobody is. But now that I’ve had my own kids, I FORGIVE EVERYTHING. I had no idea the extent of what she did for us – and I mean, everything, the feeding, the lunch boxes, the driving, the noise (dear God, the noise!), the money, the cooking, the cleaning (and she kept our home spick and span!) I understand this now a little bit more at least, and cannot even comprehend how she did it. She is almost beyond human in my mind. She’s my role model.
When somebody commented recently to her about my housekeeping abilities (or apparently infamous lack thereof), she simply smiled and said “Well, Jenny’s NOT a housekeeper! She never has been and she never will be. I used to walk by her bedroom and just shut the door.”
As she recounts this to me one afternoon, she stares me directly in the eye and smiles: “And you’re NOT a housekeeper!” Magically, she says this to me in a way that doesn’t feel like a passive aggressive jibe, but like a compliment. Hmm, I think. I’m not a housekeeper. Damn straight! “Thank you!” I say. “Thank you Mum! I’m NOT a housekeeper! Thank you!” We hug.
***
OTHER THINGS HAPPENING LATELY:
- have spent a stunning summer at the beach as often as we can get there. My kids have learned to boogie board, including my scrummy Cassidy. Boarding at age 3. I am so boasting about that!
- my new up-and-coming website (this blog is gonna be moving soon to http://www.jennywynter.com you see) has been hijacked and apparently is redirecting all mobile devices to some Russian porn site. If that’s your thing, then you’re welcome. For all others, my huge apologies, I am trying to sort it out shortly, comrades! Vodkas all round. The new site WILL be up and running pretty shortly!
- I live-tweeted my way through Labyrinth! It’s been on my to-do list for a while and was suitably fun. Some tweeps joined in who weren’t even watching the movie (other than in their head.) Hehe. Thinking of making it a regular tweetable movie club.
- got some new headshots done. Just plain actory-ones for my actory-aspirations.
- WE BOUGHT A TELEVISION. Inconceivable. We haven’t had one for nearly a decade (by choice) and already I’m rather horrified by the amount we’ve had it switched on at home. I blame the Australian Open.
- my head has been turned to a pile of melting mush by the umpteen logistics involved in taking the new show PLUS Betties PLUS a set (still haven’t quite worked out how the heck I’m getting my giant gum ball machine down to South Australia!) down to Adelaide Fringe. It’s coming soon. And even better…tickets are actually already selling. So yes. I’m full of anxiety and excitement. Anxietment!
Fitspiration, Healthspiration, Bodspiration. An Update!

I passed these every day (for $2 a slice on the cruiseship!) My defence was chanting: “this is not good food….this is not good food…” then diving into the nearest salad bar.
So an overdue update on my health-spiration change. I’m absolutely ELATED to tell you that I’ve lost 8kg since starting out in late November. I truly cannot believe it, namely because a) my thyroid condition makes it damn DAMN hard to lose anything and b) I have not even started an exercise plan. I’ve joined a gym, but haven’t even set foot in it. I know. Lame, lame, lame.
But…I’ll be getting in there shortly (I’m aiming for at least twice a week in the name of being realistic), so am hopeful that it will help change things up even more once the eating thing settles in and I hit any plateaus.
The best things I’ve learned (I take no credit for these by the way, they are tips and thoughts from others who are helping me on the way):
THE MINDSET:
- there’s no point in a diet, only a lifestyle. It can’t just be “I’m gonna eat well until I get to my goal.” It has to be a change for good.
- reframe what you think is “good food.” For example, on the cruiseship, I was bemoaning how hard it was to be in front of all this amazing array of good food (dessert buffet anybody?!) and not able to eat it. My fellow comedian (and extremely buff and healthy guy!) Mad Mike Bennet challenged me on what I thought “good food” was. Once I started viewing the foods that were healthy, wholesome, clean and helpful to my body as “good foods”, it was a heck of a lot easier to stick with the plan!
- I pay attention to how foods make me feel. And…the good food DOES make me feel good. Lighter. Not bloated. Cleaner. The other day on my cheat day, I started eating some chocolate and honestly, I couldn’t even finish it. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED. I felt so ill. It was great!
- I have just started another DietBet. The first one I won and more than doubled my money. I think I’m just one of those people who NEEDS competition – or at least accountability with the bonus of my money being on the line – to succeed!
THE PRACTICALITIES:
- protein, protein, protein and veges, veges, veges. If I had to sum up the one principle I’m basing this whole eating lifestyle on, it’s just prioritising these every time I eat.
- cut out sugar (replace with stevia). I haven’t completely cut out fruit, but I am minimising it.
- drink water, drink water, drink water. Even on days when I’ve slid on the diet (particular over Christmas), I’ve made an effort to keep drinking, no matter what.
- eat regularly, even when you don’t feel hungry. Just eat the good stuff!
- find substitutes. For instance, I have a soft drink habit (diet ones, Coke Zero, etc. but still. Not great for your body!) which, while not eliminating it completely, I have cut down MASSIVELY by replacing with soda water. My fridge is always full of it now, I add a bit of lemon, some mint (if I can be bothered making the trek out to the garden. I am beyond lazy, I know) and it’s working. Apparently all I seek is fizz and I feel suitably treated.
I got an email from a friend the other day asking me if I could share some of the eating tips I’d been raving on about, sent to me by my friend Dave. With his permission – and his disclaimer that he’s mainly paraphrasing other peeps who now what they’re on about – I’m sharing his email below. I need to stress that I have absolutely NOT followed this diet strictly, nor have I followed any “diet”, but the principles have helped massively (e.g. protein/vege rich, having a cheat day, drinking heaps of water, etc.) I would say I’ve stuck to his advice about 85% and have had AMAZING results even just with that.
Over to Dave:
If it’s weight loss, you might want to consider trying something that I used to drop a lot of weight this year, a modified ketogenic diet. Essentially it’s a diet that lowers the amount of carbs and sugar consumed, which makes your body burn fat and protein instead. (Think Aktins without the nasty side effects.)
The goal is to keep your blood sugar and insulin levels from spiking. When your body releases insulin to combat ingested sugar and carbs, it starts storing anything it can find as fat.
Try this for say 2 or 3 days and see if it works for you. If so, you can give a shot for reals. If not, nothing lost. When I’m doing it full on, I give myself 1 day a week to eat whatever I choose (helps with cravings etc).
So, for 2 days, eat nothing with sugar added. This includes lactose (milk sugar) etc. For breakfast, have 30 grams of protein (your choice), a handful of veg (avoid carrots and tomatoes), 2 eggs however you choose, and either beans or lentils (for the added protein, plus this is your carbs…)
For example, I have 2 fried eggs (yes FRIED!!! with butter), refried black beans, a handful of spinach, and chicken.
For lunch and dinner, I have protein (30gs), beans of some kind, and veg. I’ll skip the beans with lunch usually.
Because you’re not consuming lots of carbs, the fat in the food you’re eating will keep you full until your next meal, so you won’t feel like snacking. If you do, and can’t stop, try pepperoni (make sure it has minimal carbs and no sugar), and a small handful of almonds or cashews.
Just before bed, you can have a small spoonful of peanut butter (to regulate your blood sugar through the night. Also, LOTS of water. Try for 2 litres a day. (You can’t drink much else, so why not!). Artificial sweeteners should be kept to a minimum, but a little splenda in your coffee/tea or a diet coke won’t hurt.A glass of red wine is ok too.
There’s more to it, but try that out and see how it works. If you avoid sugar for 2 days, you should see your weight drop like crazy. My first week I was down I think 7 pounds. After 6 months, my cholesterol levels are fantastic, and doctor’s check up was great. (I need more vitamin D, but you shouldn’t have that problem in sunny Oz).
Exercise is fine, but real weight loss is diet based. If you go hard on cardio etc, you’ll need to eat more to compensate, (and most people grabs carbs, which completely ruins the effect.) So if you do hit the gym, go easy on the cardio, or have something carby 30 minutes before.You need to know a couple of things:
1 – the initial giant weight loss is the result of you burning up your glycogen stores (sugar your body stores). You won’t see a massive continual drop like that, but it’s a great way to start.
2 – every 7 to 10 days, you’ll need to load up on carbs in order to raise your leptin levels (we don’t want your thyroid to start shutting down). This is what we call “cheat day”. It’s wonderful. From wake up to bedtime, you can eat ….anything. Yup. anything. In order to limit some of the damage, a bit of exercise 90 seconds before eating and 90 minutes after (like 1.5 minutes worth) will help. Try to poo that day as well. Coffee helps, or prunes, or magnesium.
Apart from helping with cravings, cheat day raises the amount of calories your body expects, so that you don’t plateau (body gets used to less calories, stops losing weight). After cheat day, it might take a day or two for that glycogen to drop off, don’t panic.
Drinks LOTS of water still.
3 – If you want the full meal deal, the program I followed is called “The Four Hour Body” by Tim Ferris. Don’t worry, he’s not a diet guru or anything. He’s a bored rich guy who started experimenting with weight loss etc. This is his results.
Other good reading is “Why We Get Fat” and “Good Calories, Bad Calories” by Gary Taubes. It explains the whole slow carb theory, and such.Even after 9 months, it amazes me that I can eat like this for a day or two and lose 2-4 pounds (after a cheat day).
***
Hope that’s helpful, let me know what your’e doing! If there’s one thing that’s helped me stay committed on this journey it’s having other people to support, encourage and commiserate with!
x
Wonderland Photo Gallery!
One of the Betties other halves took some SMASHING photos all Woodford long, including of the wondrous onstage birth of Wonderland!
Thank you Leonie! xxx
I have splattered them all over my new Wonderland page over here if you’d care to take a peek.
PS if you live in Adelaide, a heads-up that there are only 14 subsidised tix left through Bank SA’s Support Act Program, where you get your ticket for $10 and they chip in the rest. If you want to grab a cheapie, I would jump to it!
We Made it on Pozible! I’m at Woodford Folk Festival! And then the bad news…
With all the effort that theme parks go to naming roller coasters suitably terrifying things, from ‘Thunderbolt’ to ‘Impending Doom’ to ‘Twisty Turly Death Spin’, I really think they should just get back to basics and just call one “Life.”
On Sunday morning I woke up to the news that we made our pozible campaign target – and then some! I was absolutely elated. The best Christmas pressie ever. THANK YOU ALL FROM EVERY PIECE OF ME.
On Monday morning, Christmas eve, I picked up my Mum (grandma) to bring her to our place for Christmas lunch. I knew something was up. She’d been for an ultrasound the week before and the doctor had called her to ask her to come in this very morning to get the results. As soon as I walked in the door I asked her what the doctor said. She smiled and said “Oh, it’ll keep.” My heart sunk. I’d had a bad feeling about it anyway, and I suspected that if it really was bad news, she wouldn’t tell me, it being Christmas and all (this is the woman who lied to me about having non-Hodgkins lymphoma a few years back because she didn’t want us to delay our trip to Canada!) A few minutes later I finally pried it out of her.
Spleen cancer.
She is so positive. I am so numb.
We had the most amazing – if hyper emotional on my part – Christmas. We ate, we laughed, we did puzzles, we saw Christmas lights, we held hands in bed, we made wishes, we talked, we opened presents, we hugged. It was almost perfect.
So here I sit, typing this up at Woodford, at the tail end of what has probably been the biggest year of my life, celebrating the incredible highs and not even close to processing this massive blow.
Am I being too dramatic? I bloody hope so. I hope it’s all going to work out, she’ll be totally fine and I’ll look back on this very blog post and smile at my silliness in feeling the dread.
I really hope so.
But for now, I’m burying my head in the sand (at least for this week) in Woodford Folk Festival.
It’s a mighty fine place to do just that.
(Gigs are over here if you wanna check em out.)
An Overdue Update!

Snapshots from the last cruise! Clockwise from left, 1) a brief chill in Vanuatu; 2) my partner in crime for the week, comedian Mad Mike Bennett; 3) my adopted “daughter” onboard, Joanne; 4) some onboard bling; and centre, cabaret sensation Trevor Jones, magician extraordinaire Ben Murphy and moi.An
Cruising. Coming back to the fam. Rehearsing. Writing the new show. Gigging (a shiteload!). Drowning in a messy house. Attempting to bake gingerbread houses and failing gloriously. Family Christmas parties.
I AM ONE SPOILED TURD.
Seriously. My sister asked me recently “how come you didn’t post much on Facebook while you were away?” Honestly, the truth is that I feel like if I do that, posting pics of what an incredible time I’m having (I LOVE cruising, love the audiences, love the travel element, love having somebody make my bed for me and not having to cook a damn thing) then I’m gonna be making people feel bad by rubbing their noses in it.
But…she (and a coupla others) have implored me to share anyway. So…I’m sharing anyway.
Not just cruise pics but pics from the past week or so, which has been wonderfully busy in all the right ways. Seriously. I am so privileged and I don’t want to ever forget it. In light of this week’s horrific headlines I’ve thought about it more than usual. I am so lucky. I am so lucky. I am so lucky.
Would you be interested in more detailed posts about what it’s like cruising? Again, I feel like it actually is so cool and such a world unto itself it would make for some cool posts, but again, there’s that whole “nyah nyah ne nyah nyah” element I feel self-conscious about!
And some just from round here since getting back:

The Betties did a gig and we had the same dressing room PRINCE had last time he was in Oz. AGGGGGHHHH!

Pink hair all ready for Woodford! The Betties also had some lovely christmas sing-time in the Queen Street Mall.
We even serenaded Santa Clause!
Crazy times.
Now off for more.
Speak soon!
xxx
P.S. Our pozible campaign has only 7 days left. Please if you wanna grab DVDs, show tix, vintage hairstyling sessions & more, please get onboard now!










































